If The Golden Girls Listened to Podcasts

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I lived with four other girls during my senior year of college. I remember when I realized that one of the girls (who became a great friend) had an obsession with The Golden Girls.

Every afternoon, I’d walk through the door that faced our living room couch. And every afternoon, I’d find her laughing her head off at Rose, Sophia, Blanche, and Dorothy.

If The Golden Girls Listened To Podcasts

I had watched The Golden Girls when I was younger, and I liked the show. But I found that, when it was playing ALL THE TIME, the music, voices, and laughter on the show drove me nuts.

I started to despise The Golden Girls. I’d get a snack and then head to my room. Post-college, when I would come across The Golden Girls while channel-surfing, I quickly skipped by it. It took me several years to be able to watch an episode.

Fast forward to the present: like most of modern society, I have a nostalgic love of those four old women. With only Betty White still walking amongst us, the show has a special warmth that I can’t ignore.

There’s almost always a Golden Girls episode on the TVs at my gym. After I’ve watched one, I go in search of a podcast episode about it.

There are a few Golden Girls podcasts out there; the kind that have an episode for every GG episode, in chronological order. I recommend Out on the Lanai: A Golden Girls Podcast.

So, it got me to wondering: “If the Golden Girls listened to podcasts, which shows would they subscribe to?” Here’s my take.

If The Golden Girls Listened to Podcasts

Rose From The Golden Girls TV ShowRose

This Minnesota farm girl would obviously listen to The Farming Podcast. The most recent episode discusses “managing cattle in heat, fence maintenance, swarm capture, and more.” Rose would probably be a guest on the show, after sending in several looooong, rambling letters to the host.

If she was having a bad day, the wide-eyed Rose would turn on something like Stories Podcast, a podcast for kids that would have her skipping around the lanai afterwards.

SophiaSophia From The Golden Girls TV Show

Is it just me, or would this curious, old, white woman totally enjoy listening to podcasts hosted by black comedians? I picture Sophia laughing her head off (and peeing her pants a little) while listening to Another Round.

Sofia would also love to criticize the people who write into Dear Prudence for advice. Because throwing jabs at her roommates all day long isn’t enough.

Blanche From The Golden Girls TV ShowBlanche

This horny, Southern belle would subscribe to the Sex Nerd Sandra podcast and gobble up every new episode the day it came out.

Oh, who am I kidding? If Blanche were a real person, she’d be hosting a sex podcast! And a YouTube channel! If podcasting had been a thing when The Golden Girls was filming, the writers could have had Blanche on the cutting edge of the industry.

She’d probably also listen to Scandalous Beauty, a makeup and beauty podcast, because you know that she knows that she’s the prettiest one in the house! I can hear her now, in her Southern drawl, “Being self-absorbed never looked so good.”

DorothyDorothy From The Golden Girls TV Show

A self-proclaimed smartypants, Dorothy would listen to Grammar Girl on a regular basis, and tweet the host to ask questions. Or correct her. Rose, Sophia, and Blanche, tired of getting a rundown of each episode, would be scheming up ways to delete them from Dorothy’s phone when she wasn’t looking.

And of course, in an effort to get back on Jeopardy, Dorothy would also listen to PodQuiz, a weekly trivia podcast. There are a lot of trivia podcasts out there, but this is one of the most serious and respectable – right up Dorothy’s alley.

Look Human

Did I hit the mark? Miss the boat? What podcasts do YOU think The Golden Girls would listen to? Leave a comment or tweet at me to let me know!

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